Wanted - one good night's sleep

The evening started well enough, with a few drinks around the bar amongst local fishermen and international yachties. Whilst very humid, the setting was pleasant enough with a couple of rickety wooden jetties poking out into the perfectly calm river. We spent some time chatting with am American couple who own a small ranch a few miles down river. After 15 years living here, they have never bothered to become Guatemalan residents. This means that they need to leave the country every 90 days to renew their visa. This is not really much of a problem as they simply get on their 35" catamaran and head off for Cuba, Jamaica, Puerto Rico, or any one of a host of other nearby destinations for a short break. Tough life for some, I guess.

The "JW negro con colas" were flowing pretty freely (Johnnie Walker Black with cola), and I like to think that they use this as a softener for the blow of needing the rooms for the first time. The yachties were fortunate enough to punt their tenders out to luxury water craft on the lake, or simply stay tied up at the jetty for the night. We had no such option, and climbed carefully up two long long flights of slippery concrete steps to face the horror. Bowed beds covered with a sngle dirty sheet with cigarette holes. Gaps in walls and ceiling with ill fitting windows and doors. A bathroom floor that was dangerously slippery - even before if got wet. Just in case we still felt a little too comfortable in this environment, a steady procession of bugs that covered most of the insect world were also busy conducting urgent business somewhere on the floor of the room.

We opted for chemical salvation (no, not cocaine, altough there is no shortage of jt over here). Instead we sprayed industrial quantities of DEET (a mosquito repellant that is banned in Australia) all over us, and then lay in the beds and tried to ignore the smell. A series of vigorous swats despatched this bugs that were chemically resistant or suicidal enough to move in with us.

Sleep seemed to be the only salvation. ........ then the turkey started.

Location:Somewhere near the Belize border